It's Fall!

It's Fall! FALL! Mommy's FAVORITE time of the year! Pumpkin Pie! Fires in the fireplace! Fall scented fragrances for our home!

Except for the allergies... and the sore throats... and the nausea... and some very intense smells... inside and out of our home...

We've had Fall like weather since... oh... May. Yes, I know, my Okie friends, you're quite jealous! How many times must I say "Come visit!"??

Intense smells... there's been an interesting, nauseating smell of musty mold coming from the sinks, bathtub and faucets in and outside of my home. Come to find out, we're still recovering from the Little Bear fire a couple months ago. The city's water resources are having to rely upon the rain, and it could take up to 7 years for the reservoir to recover.

Then there's the pine trees... they attract spiders. We've had Fall weather and spiders galore this year. The race track is down the road from us, so we've had horse smells and flies this summer. Now that it's genuinely entering Fall, the flies have disappeared, and the horse smell is dissolving. The spiders are a different story!
Oh and the SNAILS!!

They're everywhere! All sizes! Beautiful little creatures, which created a learning experience for Fi.

Fiona had her first day of school.

She wore leggings under her skirt! All those summer outfits seem just too cold now! It rains practically every day, sometime between Noon and 5pm, for at least an hour. Brings out those Fall smells of Mountain Pine Tree, Firewood burning, and last minute summer BBQs.

As we enter this changing seasons period, I find some peace in the transitions. We've had some upsets in our daily lives lately, but this has only brought me deeper into the arms of God.

Fall brings memories of transitions to mind, many transitions in my life: becoming another year older, celebrating another year of marriage, and losses such as my miscarriages, the loss of my childhood friend and pet- Sedro almost 11 years ago. I can also see the joys we've accomplished- my beautiful mess of a daughter, now 4 years old; Another year of  school for both Fi and myself; A new job; another year of Ryan's career in progress.

Fall brings surprises, new life, new adventures. Perhaps, this Fall holds one more surprise for my tiny family.

Our thoughts are on each of you, as you read this. What are some of your favorite things about Fall?

Life, Loss, Frustration

This will be a short one. I can't say much, because I really just don't know the answers myself.

This was the 5th and 6th miscarriage since we had Fiona in July 2008. It came by surprise. Surprise that we were pregnant. Then guessing we were 10 weeks 6 days along on Wednesday, September 15th. And we were. We were also 6 weeks and 3 days along and didn't know it. I hear this can happen, rarely, but it does happen.

Tuesday September 14th, we began our miscarriage journey. Wednesday we completed this journey. So we thought. Ryan was 2 hours away and I wouldn't see him til the weekend. I'm thankful his mother was here to keep Fiona while I was in and out of the hospital that week.

Friday September 17th, I went into the OB, and left with some shocking hope. We were still pregnant. 6 weeks and 3 days pregnant. What a shock.

It was a short lived hope. By that night, I was back in the hospital ER in Alamogordo, miscarrying our second pregnancy of the week. At the end of a long night, Ryan helped me to the car after a DNC. This is the surgery where the doctor assists in completing the miscarriage. I spent the next week in slight pain, nothing compared to the pain I felt from the 14th to the 18th.

I don't know what God has in store for my family, but I know it must be grand. He holds such a mansion of babies waiting for Ryan and I! In the next few weeks, we're hoping to have some more answers as we finally get referred to a high risk OB. Thanks to those who read this, and to all our friends and family for standing beside us through this sorrow.

We'll be back on our feet soon...