The Journey of a Year in the Life of Fiona

Have you seen her lately?

Wow! How she's grown in a year! Her first bike! What am I going to do with her now? She's got wheels! She's moving on! Does she need me anymore?
She has had an incredible year since I wrote last. We've seen changes in her development, we've seen changes in her successes, and we've seen changes in her diagnoses.

A year ago I was waiting for her first day of preschool. This year, we're experts. Mommy walks her to school, we get to her class, she gives Mommy hugs and kisses and then Mommy is the last thought on her mind for the next 6 hours.

School begins in a few days... ten days... yes I've counted them... it's time to prepare Mommy for the inevitable journey back to school. You would think Mommy's ready for this, but it's not any easier than it was last year. Sure, I didn't cry last year when I dropped her off. I might even make it through this one without tears. But guess what comes next year? Kindergarten.

Yup. The real school deal. But wait, there's no need to be thinking of that now. *sniff* This is about what's happened for her over the last year.

We started her school year in September 2011, and she started therapies. Speech, Gross motor and Fine motor. She was integrated through the "Child Development Program" into the "Head Start" classrooms at the local elementary school. 3-4 hours a week she spent with her therapists at school. We saw significant progress.

Fatefully, in October, at her first parent-teacher conference, I was alerted to some concerns. Never mind that I spoke with her teachers every day:

"Fiona has several problems focusing and sitting still for different projects. She continues to need quiet time for unexplained and sudden tantrums."- Teachers

"Fiona expresses frustration with focused tasks, often getting up and leaving the area to find something else to do for a short time. She complains and tantrums when touched. She is often frustrated, acting out during group tasks."-Therapists

We began to wonder what diagnoses had been missed. Over the next several months, we had ASD ruled out and possible ADHD ruled in, with co-exisiting ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder). The processes to have a child diagnosed with anything here in New Mexico, no matter your insurance, is like digging your way out of bricked room with a plastic spoon!

Finally, in May 2012, we found a specialist pediatrician to formally diagnose the ADHD and ODD. By the end of June 2012, we had the diagnosis, and a new therapist.

ADHD- Hyperactive/Impulsive type ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder)
Wow!
ADHD- Hyperactive/Impulsive type- Children with this type of ADHD show both the hyperactive and impulsive behavior but can pay attention. They are the least common group and are frequently younger.

Most children diagnosed with ADHD have at least one coexisting condition. These conditions often express the same symptoms as ADHD. Coexisting conditions include: Learning Disabilities, Oppositional Defiant Disorder or Conduct Disorder, Mood Disorders/Depression, Anxiety Disorders, and Language Disorders.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder- Up to 35% of children with ADHD also have oppositional defiant disorder or conduct disorder. Children with oppositional defiant disorder tend to lose their temper easily and annoy people on purpose and are defiant and hostile toward authority figures. Studies show that this type of coexisting condition is more common among children with the primarily hyperactive/impulsive and combination types of ADHD.

Sensory Processing Disorder- (SPD, formerly known as "sensory integration dysfunction") is a condition that exists when sensory signals don't get organized into appropriate responses. Pioneering occupational therapist and neuroscientist A. Jean Ayres, PhD, likened SPD to a neurological "traffic jam" that prevents certain parts of the brain from receiving the information needed to interpret sensory information correctly. A person with SPD finds it difficult to process and act upon information received through the senses, which creates challenges in performing countless everyday tasks. Motor clumsiness, behavioral problems, anxiety, depression, school failure, and other impacts may result if the disorder is not treated effectively.


Want more information? ADHD & ODD and SPD

My little miracle sure has some hurdles in her journey! We're seeing a behavior therapist now, outside of the school. We're ready for the new school year and her Speech and Motor therapies to begin again.

She's grown and Mommy has learned much in how to help her succeed and gain joy past these hurdles. We're looking forward to learning even more together in the coming year.

From this tiny little miracle.

To my redheaded, blue eyed, joyous, 3'6" whirlwind.  
She's been such a blessing in my life! What struggles have you faced with your own kids? What accomplishments have they made in the last year? Share with us!

Fears of a new "preschooler" mom

It's been so long since I last wrote. And interestingly enough, it's easy to see it doesn't matter. That's okay :) Life goes on and sometimes it's better to actually focus on it, rather than on an empty blog.

Fiona had her birthday, and we had some uproar around it. With our lives settling back down in New Mexico next week, after a well needed vacation, Fiona will be heading into preschool.

Unbelievable!

My daughter is three years old already! Her speech is better every day, and her mobility even more stable. And now, preschool. PRESCHOOL! I know she's ready... I just don't think I'm ready.

I read a friend's blog the other day, about fears. This friend revealed true fears he has been facing. As I read this entry to his blog, I found myself realizing that each of us deals with fears every day. Some we can adapt to or get over pretty quickly, while others, like the ones he wrote about, can haunt us each day.

Fears can become consuming. I know all too well about consuming fears. Allow me to walk you through just a few for now.

1. Medical Diagnoses. I've struggled for several years with depression. Many people do not understand what this entails. Depression is life consuming, especially when not medicated correctly. Depression can make each day hard to deal with, from struggling to get out of bed to not wanting to accomplish anything through the day and only wishing one had stayed in bed. My depression has even caused issues with relationships in my life, including my marriage.

But the other day, I learned that I've been medicating for only half the problem. For at least 10 years now, I have had undiagnosed Bipolar Disorder. With this diagnosis, combined with the depression, it has been discovered that my irritation and my unexplained panic attacks and rapid heartbeats were "highs" or manic episodes. These too are destructive to relationships and simple life tasks. Unmedicated, or mismedicated, these highs can be dangerous too.

2. Marriage. Given that my fears all play hand in hand together, it is understandable that I struggle with my marriage. Am I being the best wife I can be for my husband? Am I adequate company when we live so far away from all our friends? Am I being supportive enough? Too nosy? What if I'm not making him happy?

3. My Daughter.  Heaven help me, I wonder every day if I'm doing all I can to make her quality of life the most it can be! I take great pride in knowing that I'm seeking the therapy she needs to succeed, that I clothe and feed her appropriately, and doing all I can to keep her smiling. But what mother doesn't ask "Am I really doing this right?"? I worry if I'm really setting her up for the most success she can achieve. I wonder every day if I did something that caused her delays in speech, fine motor and gross motor development. I wonder if she's ready for preschool...

Fears are consuming. When these three go hand in hand, and feed off each other, it makes it even more difficult to discern genuine fear versus obsessive over thinking. Later sometime, I'll touch on the other side of these fears- the solutions and goals to move past them.

For now it is time to return to life as it is, and pray blessings over those of you who read this :)
Thanks for listening.